Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
i now understand why vodka
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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