he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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