You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
