i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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