There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Watching her eat just hurts me
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
