Me too!
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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