Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
