you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
