"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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