I'm lost and stupid without you.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
