i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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