I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
