I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
