bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
