Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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