i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
