Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize