Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
