brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
The air was thick with penises
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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