I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
