You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
