This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
