Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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