It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
