Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize