dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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