The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
