everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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