Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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