I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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