On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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