I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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