All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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