He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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