You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
