I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
