I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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