So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
