I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
