Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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