i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
