Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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