we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
