He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
