did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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