ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
