I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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