I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
