i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
