Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Randomize
