Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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