Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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