I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I skipped work to stalk him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
