some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just blew my weed a kiss
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
