im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
