we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
