dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
