whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
