Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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