Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
