I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize