I can't watch pbs sober anymore
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
