Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
