I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize