is wine microwaveable?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize