Its about making memories worth repressing
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Randomize
