scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
