college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
